Saturday, 23 May 2009

Toilet Humour

Do you ever feel bad about going in a disabled toilet?
I do.
I feel like an invader, breaking some sort of fragile alliance we have with the disabled. If i got caught in there, the disabled would wage complete and utter war on everyone. Not worried? Think it would only end up costing them an arm and a leg? Well, I for one think they'd pop a (handy) cap in yo ass!

Also, why is "Disabled" treated as a third gender? How come disabled men and women can just use the same toilet? Is it because disabled men can't lift the toilet seat up? They should have disabled urinal's just for the hell of it. It would simply be a hose. [Did you know they've already developed this for women? Its basicly a funnel]

But i digress.

The inspiration to write this blog came when i was in a disabled toilet the other day, and this thought crossed my mind:
"Oh my god, this is what toilets look like in NASA!"

Look at all those bars everywhere and the way they always look so modern and high tech - with all those mysterious cords dangling from the celling, tempting you to pull them - but you wouldnt dare. They're always bright white as well - no wonder disabled people are always wearing sunglasses - it's so they can use the bathroom!

So now my theory:
NASA have designed every disabled toilet in the world, so disabled people adjust to the lighting and all the gizmo's, so that they can run a space operation with any disabled person in the world.
Crazy? So is the Eurovision song contest and that's still allowed to happen.

First they will conquer space - Then EARTH!
You heard it here first.

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Psychology Revision

Freud thought phobias were caused by unresolved childhood traumas.
This makes sense as Dale Winton was scratched by a cat as a child, and now he hates pussy....!